Sunday, October 24, 2010

Forever.

Oh my gosh. It has been forever since I have blogged! So sad. :( Haha. This blog is probably going to be all over the place since it's been awhile. You will have to get used to it, sorry :P
Heather is over, she spent the night last night and went to church with us this morning. Btw, she is very annoying right now. As she narrates my blog. Can I slap her please? Nah, Jk. (:

Music.
I used to listen to like Cute Is What We Aim For, All Time Low, Forever The Sickest Kids, Never Shout Never etc. All the time. Lately though, they are not intriguing at all. I've been listening to country like constantly. I love it. My dad hates it though, so I like to blare it in my room and annoy him when he is home!
Random: Say 'He Home' in a donkey voice. It's hilarious. :P

God!
I haven't had a good relationship with Him at all last year because I was too worried about boys, and friends, and doing my own thing. I came to the realization though that I am SO much happier when I keep that relationship with Him and focus on what HE wants, not me! Last year, I had lots of friends and had something to do every weekend, and most of the time on the week days. I was not happy though, God came last in my life. Now though, He is before everything, or at least most of the time. I am still human. I feel so much closer to Him, and knowing I am helps a lot, but of course. He is God ! (:

Family.
As most know, I do have a nanny. She doesn't like that word but that's what she is. My dad is a truck driver and always gone for around 3 weeks at a time and home for about 3 or 4 days. I seriously HATE it. My mom lived in Farmington but she came back last night because of stuff with some dumb guy. She isn't very stable so I don't see her much. With my dad being gone and rarely seeing my mom, It's just me and my brother, well and Vince. I feel so lonely, as if I don't really have a family.I have friends who only have 1 parent or w.e and they think that i am so lucky, I am in a way. I do have my parents but not really because I rarely see them. It used to not affect me much but lately it has been, considering the fact I don't like my nanny at all! I could seriously go on and on about this topic but I'm changing it. haha.

School.
Omg, so stressful. Seriously I don't like it! I'm doing great in all my classes. . . besides one. Honors Chemistry. Worst. Class. Eva. I had a D+ buuut then I didn't take a test or turn in one lab from being absent, which I need to get on so now it's lower. Like bad. I feel so overwhelmed in there, everyone else is smart and 'gets' what we do. I don't. I am NOT used to that. I am usually one of the bests in my class. Now I'm not even close to it, which is very discouraging. The stuff we have been doing lately has been fairly easy, but I guess I'm not good at it enough to bring my grade up a lot. I'm telling you, if I have an awful grade at the end of this semester in this class I am switching to regular chemistry even though I will feel like such a failure. I want good grades though and taking honors is not helping that. I really just need to seek God with this. I hope I can stay in it, all I can ask is that He gives me the strength, knowledge, and helps me focus to get me through the year in this class with at least a C-! I need an honors class. Well, I don't need one, but I feel like I'm not worth much with out good grades which I know is totally FALSE! I also feel like I'm invisible if I don't look at least half way decent, which again is FALSE. Last bible study, pretty sure it was the last one, maybe the one before? Idk. anyway we basically talking about this. Self Worth. It really helped me actually. Bible Study always helps me to be honest. haha (: I am so glad I get to go there, I love being in that atmosphere and around those girls. I literally WISH I could live with all them. Life we would be less hectic and stressful, and so on. But that's sadly not happening.

Hollie.
I was never really close to her, but I always loved her bubbly personality. It made everyone laugh and smile! She is so optimistic from what I've seen, which is wonderful! Actually the Thursday before she was diagnosed Andrea, Her, and Me were talking at Andreas and I got to know somethings about her that I definitely related to. It was awesome. That night I went home, and God just put Hollie on my heart to be praying for her, I had no idea why but I was like Okay God! So I wrote her name on my mirror under this sticker thing that says "Pray" That's where I put everyone at that I need/want to pray for.Then the next Thursday came around, I found out the news at Bible Study, and like I said before although I didn't know her that well, I felt like my best friend just got diagnosed. I just cried. I contained a lot of my tears though, because I don't like crying in fornt of people but that night I went home and cried more. God really did comfort me though, the overwhelming peace came over me, and I just knew she would be okay especially because she is such a positive person. I've been continuing to pray for Hollie and I know God is with her and comforting her, which all in all comforts me. (: Please Keep Hollie In Your Prayers! And, Buy A SHIRT! (for more info, contact Andrea Anderson!)

Hmm, I'm trying to think of what more to blog about. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This blog took all day. Literally. One and off I have been working on it. So, I think I'm going to be finished now. Plus, I need to go finish my art project that is DUE TOMORROW! :/ Wish me luck with that one. . haha.

Ta Ta For Now. (:

No comments:

Post a Comment